I find these pieces really interesting, Michelle. In my own life, being rather than doing is what I come back to over and over (and in doing so, hopefully, learn to trust more and more) as the way to healing for me. I’ve had some “unexplainable” experiences that have contributed to my healing, not in a dramatic one and done way, but again, in a “something moving very deep below the surface, so deep as to be untrackable” way. Thank you.
One of capitalistic and patriarchal society’s greatest harms is to characterize “being” as lazy, and a lack of productivity as morally bankrupt. we are trained to always being dong, lest we fall to the evil of sloth. After being laid off last year, I decided to pretty much do nothing for as long as possible. And by nothing, I mean (as a Projector) waiting for the invitation that spoke to me to do it. It took a good 9 months before i found something that was even interesting to me again. And I had to consciously allow myself to just BE and just allow. As I approach 50, I feel less and less compelled to DO, and more compelled to BE.
I relate. I turned 50 this year and as menopause is complete I feel very much that I can only do that which my being experiences as expanding my being and feels non efforting. My inner hyper masculine has had to retire 🤪
Yes 💕 agreed… the resonance & congruence between us is what feels like the true communication that creates change.
I see all change as the same, we find it so easy to believe a negative experience can create instantaneous, permanent change yet we struggle to believe that it’s true in reverse ie with a positive experience. If trauma creates an experiential coding of our stored data, it makes sense to me that experiential recoding is also possible through any modality, ‘guru’, trip or NDE.
How glorious it is to be open to discovery & possibility.
The other part of the Polyvagal theory which I didn’t go into is this idea that there is a tiered response … first we will try to do the tend and befriend, and then either a fight or flight or shutdown. I understand that people seem to have an innate preference that may be ancestral, so in your family line people tend to shut down for example rather than fight. But there’s always a drive to homeostasis and the body will cycle through responses to h treat…. And there’s also evidence as I understand it that if a person has had a really nurturing home environment and they’ve developed a certain amount of body memory how to easily go into homeostasis. so if you’ve had a good childhood you have better vagal tone and your vagus nerve just naturally will come into balance on its own in situations of threat.
I honestly think that whilst this understanding is really helpful, it doesn’t necessarily solve the problem, although there are now a lot of programs and special yoga practices which aim to train the Vagus nerve to be more helpful in situations of stress. As I understand it, the idea is to gently stress the system and then teach the nerve how to quickly come back into balance.
Personally, I find a regular normal yoga practice and meditation to be pretty great for feeling chilled without specifically going into Vagus fixation. I mean we can call lots of things vagal toning! (at this point as I’m dictating this my partner said “what happens in vagus stays in vagus”).🤪
But that is very interesting what you say about accessing different parts of the brain in times of stress! This is definitely a thing. Hyper vigilance heightens all the senses, and that includes psychic senses in my experience. so my personal theory is that the evolutionary response is towards extra sensory experiences in times of high stress, not just got feeling and sensing energy, but also the dissociation that prompts out of body experiences!
(In fact if you study near death experiences you will find that most people will leave the body prior to the impact of a violent death, so it does seem that our soul wants us not to experience some things physically, it does seem that stress can take us to this experience of safety.)
I've read a lot about trauma, but this is the first time someone explained Polyvagal Theory to me in a way that makes sense to understand. Like you, I'm not sure it answers all of my questions, but at least I understand his concept now.
I believe that the body works best in balance, but it can swing in one way or another. Could a shutdown response be an extreme version of "rest and digest" and not necessarily it's own thing? From my experience, when I was in shutdown and was coming out of it, I swung in the opposite direction, and my sympathetic nervous system kicked into high gear. I've read that this can happen as the body tries to balance itself out. I can tell you that the saying "the smell of fear" is real.
During this time towards healing, I was able to reach a different level of consciousness and access different parts of my brain that were previously off-limits to me. Accessing memories, realizations, and behavior patterns did ultimately help me to become Shelby 2.0.
I find these pieces really interesting, Michelle. In my own life, being rather than doing is what I come back to over and over (and in doing so, hopefully, learn to trust more and more) as the way to healing for me. I’ve had some “unexplainable” experiences that have contributed to my healing, not in a dramatic one and done way, but again, in a “something moving very deep below the surface, so deep as to be untrackable” way. Thank you.
I love these untrackable and subterranean movements. Maybe we are just not meant to track everything (I’m sure we’re not). 🙏🏻
I very much agree!
One of capitalistic and patriarchal society’s greatest harms is to characterize “being” as lazy, and a lack of productivity as morally bankrupt. we are trained to always being dong, lest we fall to the evil of sloth. After being laid off last year, I decided to pretty much do nothing for as long as possible. And by nothing, I mean (as a Projector) waiting for the invitation that spoke to me to do it. It took a good 9 months before i found something that was even interesting to me again. And I had to consciously allow myself to just BE and just allow. As I approach 50, I feel less and less compelled to DO, and more compelled to BE.
I relate. I turned 50 this year and as menopause is complete I feel very much that I can only do that which my being experiences as expanding my being and feels non efforting. My inner hyper masculine has had to retire 🤪
I can’t wait to be done with peri. It’s gone on long enough, thankyouverymuch. Started with night sweats and anxiety at 42. Ready to be DONE.
Yes 💕 agreed… the resonance & congruence between us is what feels like the true communication that creates change.
I see all change as the same, we find it so easy to believe a negative experience can create instantaneous, permanent change yet we struggle to believe that it’s true in reverse ie with a positive experience. If trauma creates an experiential coding of our stored data, it makes sense to me that experiential recoding is also possible through any modality, ‘guru’, trip or NDE.
How glorious it is to be open to discovery & possibility.
I love your curiosity.
I’m honoured to be mentioned on your list.
Yes I am so curious about all the flavours of this. It is a joyful rabbit hole to go down!
The other part of the Polyvagal theory which I didn’t go into is this idea that there is a tiered response … first we will try to do the tend and befriend, and then either a fight or flight or shutdown. I understand that people seem to have an innate preference that may be ancestral, so in your family line people tend to shut down for example rather than fight. But there’s always a drive to homeostasis and the body will cycle through responses to h treat…. And there’s also evidence as I understand it that if a person has had a really nurturing home environment and they’ve developed a certain amount of body memory how to easily go into homeostasis. so if you’ve had a good childhood you have better vagal tone and your vagus nerve just naturally will come into balance on its own in situations of threat.
I honestly think that whilst this understanding is really helpful, it doesn’t necessarily solve the problem, although there are now a lot of programs and special yoga practices which aim to train the Vagus nerve to be more helpful in situations of stress. As I understand it, the idea is to gently stress the system and then teach the nerve how to quickly come back into balance.
Personally, I find a regular normal yoga practice and meditation to be pretty great for feeling chilled without specifically going into Vagus fixation. I mean we can call lots of things vagal toning! (at this point as I’m dictating this my partner said “what happens in vagus stays in vagus”).🤪
But that is very interesting what you say about accessing different parts of the brain in times of stress! This is definitely a thing. Hyper vigilance heightens all the senses, and that includes psychic senses in my experience. so my personal theory is that the evolutionary response is towards extra sensory experiences in times of high stress, not just got feeling and sensing energy, but also the dissociation that prompts out of body experiences!
(In fact if you study near death experiences you will find that most people will leave the body prior to the impact of a violent death, so it does seem that our soul wants us not to experience some things physically, it does seem that stress can take us to this experience of safety.)
Thanks for reading !
I've read a lot about trauma, but this is the first time someone explained Polyvagal Theory to me in a way that makes sense to understand. Like you, I'm not sure it answers all of my questions, but at least I understand his concept now.
I believe that the body works best in balance, but it can swing in one way or another. Could a shutdown response be an extreme version of "rest and digest" and not necessarily it's own thing? From my experience, when I was in shutdown and was coming out of it, I swung in the opposite direction, and my sympathetic nervous system kicked into high gear. I've read that this can happen as the body tries to balance itself out. I can tell you that the saying "the smell of fear" is real.
During this time towards healing, I was able to reach a different level of consciousness and access different parts of my brain that were previously off-limits to me. Accessing memories, realizations, and behavior patterns did ultimately help me to become Shelby 2.0.