I love this one Michelle - so much food for thought. I will be returning to it to digest deeper. I am in a phase of life actively looking for a way forward without goals - following the desire, the curiosity the ease feels right tho my ego is not so sure!
Let me know how it unfolds. Definitely a moving feast for me! I’ve been trying to plans visit to Canberra to check unis for my youngest so we should meet for coffee to discuss!
To try and answer your question from my experience….I think one example of having a goal that is not directly linked to our pursuit for worthiness and ego strokes, is when we need to organise ourselves from a place of self-love.
For some trauma survivors, we become so scattered - especially complex PTSD survivors. Many of us have been groomed to put our energy and resources towards building other people’s goals and dreams. Our own lives become a mess in doing so, and we lose sight of what is possible for ourselves….which can breed hopelessness, depression, and apathy.
I think a way to move out of feeling so scattered and disheveled in the aftermath of all that is to have some “goals” that enforce the commitment to ourselves and our own dreams again. And then we have to learn not to get lost in adhering to them so rigidly that we make our identities about that instead.
That makes so much sense and I hear you. That is a worthy kind of goal in service of … worthiness! Is there a particular way this takes form in your experience? Is it a mix of tangible outcome based goals (like a job?) and experience based goals (like practicing gratitude or meditation)? 🙏🏻
Great question…thanks for asking. I think for me it’s the more everyday tasks that some find very easy to do, but takes a lot out of me. For example, I’m really good at writing and posting what I write….because writing is such a natural extension of who I am.
However, when it comes to more admin and “promotional” things, I have to push myself because of wounding around being seen and received. In that sense, I have to set goals to establish the productivity I need to get things accomplished that I deserve to have done because I put a lot of energy and effort in what I create.
I can’t do it from the standpoint of keeping up with the algorithm, but in honouring the circulation of my voice, which was purposely silenced for decades. I have to do it for that part of me who always deserved to be heard.
Oh gosh this really resonates. Holding oneself accountable as a way to create habits that give a voice to self worth. Personally I also struggle with the accountability that comes with being on any platform including here. Thank you for sharing - I take this on board both as a practitioner and as a writer. Honouring your journey and voice 🙏🏻
It’s hard, right? Trying to find that balance between honouring your voice and following through because of this….versus showing up because of the pressures of the algorithm. So glad it reflected back to you some of your experience, and am glad to add to your professional and personal insight on this topic. Thanks so much for opening the discussion through your piece 🙏🏾🤗
I love this one Michelle - so much food for thought. I will be returning to it to digest deeper. I am in a phase of life actively looking for a way forward without goals - following the desire, the curiosity the ease feels right tho my ego is not so sure!
Let me know how it unfolds. Definitely a moving feast for me! I’ve been trying to plans visit to Canberra to check unis for my youngest so we should meet for coffee to discuss!
Let me know when you are heading down, coffee would be lovely!
To try and answer your question from my experience….I think one example of having a goal that is not directly linked to our pursuit for worthiness and ego strokes, is when we need to organise ourselves from a place of self-love.
For some trauma survivors, we become so scattered - especially complex PTSD survivors. Many of us have been groomed to put our energy and resources towards building other people’s goals and dreams. Our own lives become a mess in doing so, and we lose sight of what is possible for ourselves….which can breed hopelessness, depression, and apathy.
I think a way to move out of feeling so scattered and disheveled in the aftermath of all that is to have some “goals” that enforce the commitment to ourselves and our own dreams again. And then we have to learn not to get lost in adhering to them so rigidly that we make our identities about that instead.
I hope that makes sense
That makes so much sense and I hear you. That is a worthy kind of goal in service of … worthiness! Is there a particular way this takes form in your experience? Is it a mix of tangible outcome based goals (like a job?) and experience based goals (like practicing gratitude or meditation)? 🙏🏻
Great question…thanks for asking. I think for me it’s the more everyday tasks that some find very easy to do, but takes a lot out of me. For example, I’m really good at writing and posting what I write….because writing is such a natural extension of who I am.
However, when it comes to more admin and “promotional” things, I have to push myself because of wounding around being seen and received. In that sense, I have to set goals to establish the productivity I need to get things accomplished that I deserve to have done because I put a lot of energy and effort in what I create.
I can’t do it from the standpoint of keeping up with the algorithm, but in honouring the circulation of my voice, which was purposely silenced for decades. I have to do it for that part of me who always deserved to be heard.
Oh gosh this really resonates. Holding oneself accountable as a way to create habits that give a voice to self worth. Personally I also struggle with the accountability that comes with being on any platform including here. Thank you for sharing - I take this on board both as a practitioner and as a writer. Honouring your journey and voice 🙏🏻
It’s hard, right? Trying to find that balance between honouring your voice and following through because of this….versus showing up because of the pressures of the algorithm. So glad it reflected back to you some of your experience, and am glad to add to your professional and personal insight on this topic. Thanks so much for opening the discussion through your piece 🙏🏾🤗
Such a powerful, thought and heart provoking piece. Thank you 🙏🏾🤗