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Emily Conway's avatar

Yes, the path is the one in front of you. I spent the first part of my mothering journey inside the Christian church. I struggled with the church, so I struggled with mothering in it. I could never quite fit myself inside the "mothering is your vocation" if you have kids mantra. However, now that I do not find my identity within Christian theology, I find that I can accept mothering as a part of my path. And it can take up a hefty chunk of that path for many years. I really appreciate you writing about this, Michelle, as I don't think it gets spoken about enough - all the people who could write about it are too busy!

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Michelle Dixon, Ph.D.'s avatar

Haha too busy 🤪 so true, and as I write this my eldest stepdaughter has friends over to wake her up as a surprise and sing happy birthday for her 17th… never a dull moment!

Thank you for sharing your experience inside the Christian church, and I guess it shows that external expectations exist in every context and so we are always inevitably having to construct our own meanings for experiences like motherhood or spirituality!

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Prajna O'Hara's avatar

Exactly

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Goddess Renell's avatar

Michelle, this was a beautiful look into your life path, and it touched a personal part of me I resonate with as well. It has been with me throughout my day as I reflected on it, and I wanted to share how much it touched my soul. My “mother” archetype has been my identity since I was 13. I took on the role with my siblings to adulthood. It prepared me for having my children, and it was a blessing as I look back on it. I read somewhere that they are your karmic oddities, and I have accumulated many, but I like to think of them as little wrapped packages of wisdom.

I look forward to your next chapter, and I thank you for initiating contemplation for my day, Mother Goddess! 🌟 💜

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Michelle Dixon, Ph.D.'s avatar

Thank you for these kind words which have made my day 🙏🏻 I love your words that children are “little wrapped packages of wisdom.” They are indeed, and they progress us on our path in so being. Blessings to you!

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Forrest Beway's avatar

i am no mother.

Now I am ruminating...

where is the path?

Everything is.

Ruminating also is.

And you are,

Michelle,

such a wonderful

mother,

divine,

healer,

spiritual being,

sage guru,

and human

that I have not enough words

to be grateful

for your love

your presence

your words

your wholeness

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Michelle Dixon, Ph.D.'s avatar

Thank you Forrest, generous as always. I’ve been silent on here for a while, busy with other things, so it’s lovely to be back writing and engaging with kind and thoughtful readers like you. ☺️Hope you are having / will have a lovely weekend wherever you are!

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Sara's avatar

This is so interesting Michelle! It really is about accepting where you are - something I struggle with daily! I’ve definitely had the sense that my children are a “distraction” from my career or my “path” as you say and that’s painful. Now I’m trying to integrate it all as one big messy patchwork ❤️

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Michelle Dixon, Ph.D.'s avatar

It’s so difficult isn’t it… but there is so much grace in practice! Thank you for your reflections 🙏🏻

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Prajna O'Hara's avatar

Hi Michelle

I came back to read the beauty here.

I also love the humor

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Michelle Dixon, Ph.D.'s avatar

🙏🏻🙏🏻

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Prajna O'Hara's avatar

Hey Michelle lovely tribute to Bonnie. She was very close in the neighborhood. We were students of Adyashanti at the same time.

It’s a lot more I could say more as many stories come to mind. For now, I just want to say I am very glad that you met her and respect his admirable

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Michelle Dixon, Ph.D.'s avatar

Thank you and how amazing you were students of Adyashanti at the same time! I would love to hear your stories one day, you’ll have to write some. 🙏🏻

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Eileen's avatar

hi Michelle! I found your substack kind of “randomly”. However, after reading this post I confirm there is nothing random in life. I am in the middle of reading a course of miracles and now I understand why I resonated so much with you.

I’ll be waiting for your next newsletters, I enjoy reading you very much.

I have 2 teenage boys at home, one is mine and the oldest is my partner’s so I hear you loud and clear! But recently I have made my space to have contact with my spiritual being very early in the mornings (5 am club here). I can say that I feel so much better through the day parenting and working when I have that time for me. A couples of hours were I read, move my body, eat slow and consciously in total silence. It gives me clarity and awareness for the rest pf the day.

I hope you have a great Weekend!

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Michelle Dixon, Ph.D.'s avatar

Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts! I wish I could rise at 5 am but teenagers get to sleep so late in my home … even just slamming doors to the toilet after 10 pm … 🤪 I’m so glad you found me and that you have also “found yourself” and are making space for the sacred. I look forward to hearing how it evolves for you…! ❤️❤️

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Erica Phillips Graves 🔮's avatar

You have put words to my reality. Thank you so much. It really helps!

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Michelle Dixon, Ph.D.'s avatar

Thank you so much for reading! 🙏🏻 so many mothers on this path need to know we are not alone ☺️

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Erica Phillips Graves 🔮's avatar

Subscribed too! I am struggling either way the balance of masculine provider vs a softer feminine energy balance. This helps to reframe it.

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Emily Conway's avatar

Oh my! So much happening all the time, everywhere with teenagers! And yes, to constructing our own meanings. They have to come from the inside or they’re not lasting or, often, particularly healthy. Thanks again, Michelle.

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Sep 20
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Michelle Dixon, Ph.D.'s avatar

I absolutely adore those words and that image, of the women wading in the water neck deep. Thank you for sharing some of your experience. I don’t know if you have found @prajnaohara but check out her Substack. She has also written an amazing memoir of her experience of motherhood and spiritual awakening called edge of Grace prajnaohara.com/shop/ recounting her journey of mothering three children, two of whom have severe disabilities, as she experienced various kinds of samadhi and strove to make sense her path… ❤️ I’m going to write a note or an article with my thoughts about it soon because it was so profound for me.

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Prajna O'Hara's avatar

Birthing neck deep

True chop wood, carry water

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